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Project: Working with elements - Day 17

Today was interesting to say the least. First, the good news. While focusing on drawing in the Water element, the Apas tattva appears automatically in my mind's eye. That is good. Unfortunately, during today's mental chatter, I have thought about doing the posism for the Fire element, and the Fire element automatically appeared, at first in my forearms and then spread throughout my body. No matter how much I tried to dispel it and accumulate the Water element again, it kept being there. This situation took around an hour. It also seems that the Water element is good for handling heat, as well; together with Fire and Air makes a third element that can be used so far. The Fire element lets you adapt to the heat. Air element sort of blocks the feeling of heat from you, and the Water element keeps you cool; it at least feels that way.
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Project: Working with elements - Day 16

 Thinking back at the previous day regarding being stared at, I think that was a form of anxiety. The water element corresponds with emotion, and it seems that anxiety is the emotion of an uncontrolled Water element; in my case, it manifested as the spotlight effect. Thankfully, today was better; no weird feelings appeared during the day. This day was marked by serenity, which was nice. I keep thinking about the symbol of Apas tattva. It wiggles a little during the meditation; I think it represents the crescent of the Moon reflected on the surface of water.
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Project: Working with elements - Days 15 - Water

 Today started interestingly with rain. Quite a welcome coincidence, because today was also the first day of working with the Water element. I was a bit worried whether I would be able to conjure the feeling of coldness and wetness, but the morning rain was a very welcome aid. As for the day, I have caught people staring at me on many different occasions. It startled me at first, but over the course of the day I got used to it and stopped paying attention to the gazes. I am not entirely sure what the reason was behind it. Do people often stare and I don't notice, or was something different today?
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Project: Working with elements - Days 12 through 14

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 Nothing out of the ordinary happened during the last few days. Calling the element has become easier thanks to Lasenic's posism. Even a bit of warmth appeared while working with the element. I would compare the feeling to a light breeze on sunburnt skin. The afterimage during the evening trataka stopped spinning, and I would say the distractibility was greatly reduced during the last two days. Tomorrow, the practice with Apas (Water tattva) begins:
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Magickal Alphabet

 I've decided to share my personal magickal alphabet. It is very lightly inspired by the Hebrew alphabet, so it uses mainly consonants; vowels are used only as marks. https://www.scribd.com/document/1066228406/Magickal-Alphabet
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Prejudice in occult practice

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 This past week made me think a lot about my own prejudices. There are some practices I've been avoiding since I find them silly. A perfect example would be elemental posism from Pierre de Lasenic's Book of Works. I never thought something like that would work. For me, the energy work is often synced with the breathing, and if there is any movement, it is repetitive and synced with the breath, as well. Something like Chi Kung makes sense to me. But just doing a single fluid movement and waiting? Never. Yet, in this past week, the posism of the Air element has become a very useful addition to my repertoire.
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Project: Working with elements - Day 11

 Today made me think about the positive and negative aspects of the elements. Fire represents will and energy, as well as heat and getting things done. So, what is its negative aspect? It could probably be called choler, being quick to anger. The air element represents communication, observation, intelligence, thinking, but also balancing of energies, and the vital force. And its negative aspect? Distractibility. The air element can get you scatterbrained.
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