Akenu's Initiation

Day 20 has probably been the best day so far. I would say the Water element corresponds with empathy; on Saturday, I feel I did everything right. I grew closer with a very good friend and also introduced her to the world of the occult. Compared to that, the next day was kinda tame and way more grounded. This brings me to today, day 22. The first day of the Earth element. It's also the element missing a posism in Lasenic's work, which means I have to work with it the originally intended way. When accumulating the element, I focus on the feeling of heaviness and visualize my body turning into granite (not sure why I picked this distinct imagination, but it seems to be working), sturdy, heavy, stable. It feels like this method is good for grounding, and I haven't noticed any negative aspects yet. Anyway, here is the Prithvi tattva I use for trataka this week: While focusing on this tattva during the day, I have started imagining it in three main energy centers (the third eye, ...

Well, it seems the cooling ability of the Water element has a limit. And that limit is a heatwave during a train ride; in the train with a broken A/C, nonetheless.  The last two days have been a bit challenging for this project. It feels better to work with the elements if the conditions are right. A colder or cooler environment is better for feeling and working with the Water element. Heat makes it easier to work with the Fire element. Air element is easier to work with when it's windy outside. I wonder how it will be with the Earth element, which is coming up next week. The week after that will be even harder, considering you cannot really draw in Akasha.

Today was interesting to say the least. First, the good news. While focusing on drawing in the Water element, the Apas tattva appears automatically in my mind's eye. That is good. Unfortunately, during today's mental chatter, I have thought about doing the posism for the Fire element, and the Fire element automatically appeared, at first in my forearms and then spread throughout my body. No matter how much I tried to dispel it and accumulate the Water element again, it kept being there. This situation took around an hour. It also seems that the Water element is good for handling heat, as well; together with Fire and Air makes a third element that can be used so far. The Fire element lets you adapt to the heat. Air element sort of blocks the feeling of heat from you, and the Water element keeps you cool; it at least feels that way.

 Thinking back at the previous day regarding being stared at, I think that was a form of anxiety. The water element corresponds with emotion, and it seems that anxiety is the emotion of an uncontrolled Water element; in my case, it manifested as the spotlight effect. Thankfully, today was better; no weird feelings appeared during the day. This day was marked by serenity, which was nice. I keep thinking about the symbol of Apas tattva. It wiggles a little during the meditation; I think it represents the crescent of the Moon reflected on the surface of water.

 Today started interestingly with rain. Quite a welcome coincidence, because today was also the first day of working with the Water element. I was a bit worried whether I would be able to conjure the feeling of coldness and wetness, but the morning rain was a very welcome aid. As for the day, I have caught people staring at me on many different occasions. It startled me at first, but over the course of the day I got used to it and stopped paying attention to the gazes. I am not entirely sure what the reason was behind it. Do people often stare and I don't notice, or was something different today?

 Nothing out of the ordinary happened during the last few days. Calling the element has become easier thanks to Lasenic's posism. Even a bit of warmth appeared while working with the element. I would compare the feeling to a light breeze on sunburnt skin. The afterimage during the evening trataka stopped spinning, and I would say the distractibility was greatly reduced during the last two days. Tomorrow, the practice with Apas (Water tattva) begins: