Akenu's Initiation

Well, thank heavens this is over. Taking a greater oath right after a hiatus was definitely exhausting, yet very refreshing. With this project over, the fasting associated with Akasha is over as well, but it was a very interesting side effect. Also, during the final days of the project, I've come up with one more greater oath, this time associated with planets. It would start on Monday and go till the next Monday for working with the Moon energies; then it would go from Tuesday until the next Tuesday for Mars, Wednesday till Wednesday for Mercury, etc. This way, you would start with the loving mother Luna, go through the war and struggle of early life, mature and get better at communicating, until, finally, you would acquire the respect of the father, Sol. I am definitely not going to do it right away; this will require some planning. I was thinking of creating 7 distinct servitors to help initiate you into the energies of each celestial object. I will also require some more glyphs...

Partial fast still continues. I started eating just once a day, and only a little bit to keep my stomach happy. The interesting part is that my family also started eating less; it seems the residue from working with Akasha does have some effect on those around me.

Days 25 up to 28 were stable, to say the least. Nothing extreme happened with the Earth element, but I did have some lapses. At the beginning of this project, I decided to do just the work related to the elements and nothing else. But during the week of the Earth element, I started working on my new atavistic alphabet (alphabet of desire). The new consonantal alphabet I've shared previously has proven very useful in creating the glyphs. I had also temporarily invoked the Water element on Friday to increase my empathy, and I invoked the Fire element on Sunday to dry faster since I hadn't checked the towel situation before taking a shower. Day 29 This brings me to the first day of working with Akasha. Today I didn't expect much. Akasha is the subtlest of elements and cannot be accumulated or released. This, and the fact that I've started working with Akasha right after working with Earth, the least subtle element, kept my hopes really low. But lo and behold, for some reas...

I think the negative aspect of the Earth element manifested, flegmatism. Generally, I think the Earth element is very good at grounding, but there were several instances in the past two days when I just couldn't give a damn. While the Air element is good for thinking and observing a problem from a distance, the Earth element can lead to fully letting problems pass by, observed but unbothered.

Day 20 has probably been the best day so far. I would say the Water element corresponds with empathy; on Saturday, I feel I did everything right. I grew closer with a very good friend and also introduced her to the world of the occult. Compared to that, the next day was kinda tame and way more grounded. This brings me to today, day 22. The first day of the Earth element. It's also the element missing a posism in Lasenic's work, which means I have to work with it the originally intended way. When accumulating the element, I focus on the feeling of heaviness and visualize my body turning into granite (not sure why I picked this distinct imagination, but it seems to be working), sturdy, heavy, stable. It feels like this method is good for grounding, and I haven't noticed any negative aspects yet. Anyway, here is the Prithvi tattva I use for trataka this week: While focusing on this tattva during the day, I have started imagining it in three main energy centers (the third eye, ...

Well, it seems the cooling ability of the Water element has a limit. And that limit is a heatwave during a train ride; in the train with a broken A/C, nonetheless.  The last two days have been a bit challenging for this project. It feels better to work with the elements if the conditions are right. A colder or cooler environment is better for feeling and working with the Water element. Heat makes it easier to work with the Fire element. Air element is easier to work with when it's windy outside. I wonder how it will be with the Earth element, which is coming up next week. The week after that will be even harder, considering you cannot really draw in Akasha.

Today was interesting to say the least. First, the good news. While focusing on drawing in the Water element, the Apas tattva appears automatically in my mind's eye. That is good. Unfortunately, during today's mental chatter, I have thought about doing the posism for the Fire element, and the Fire element automatically appeared, at first in my forearms and then spread throughout my body. No matter how much I tried to dispel it and accumulate the Water element again, it kept being there. This situation took around an hour. It also seems that the Water element is good for handling heat, as well; together with Fire and Air makes a third element that can be used so far. The Fire element lets you adapt to the heat. Air element sort of blocks the feeling of heat from you, and the Water element keeps you cool; it at least feels that way.

 Thinking back at the previous day regarding being stared at, I think that was a form of anxiety. The water element corresponds with emotion, and it seems that anxiety is the emotion of an uncontrolled Water element; in my case, it manifested as the spotlight effect. Thankfully, today was better; no weird feelings appeared during the day. This day was marked by serenity, which was nice. I keep thinking about the symbol of Apas tattva. It wiggles a little during the meditation; I think it represents the crescent of the Moon reflected on the surface of water.

 Today started interestingly with rain. Quite a welcome coincidence, because today was also the first day of working with the Water element. I was a bit worried whether I would be able to conjure the feeling of coldness and wetness, but the morning rain was a very welcome aid. As for the day, I have caught people staring at me on many different occasions. It startled me at first, but over the course of the day I got used to it and stopped paying attention to the gazes. I am not entirely sure what the reason was behind it. Do people often stare and I don't notice, or was something different today?

 Nothing out of the ordinary happened during the last few days. Calling the element has become easier thanks to Lasenic's posism. Even a bit of warmth appeared while working with the element. I would compare the feeling to a light breeze on sunburnt skin. The afterimage during the evening trataka stopped spinning, and I would say the distractibility was greatly reduced during the last two days. Tomorrow, the practice with Apas (Water tattva) begins:

 Today made me think about the positive and negative aspects of the elements. Fire represents will and energy, as well as heat and getting things done. So, what is its negative aspect? It could probably be called choler, being quick to anger. The air element represents communication, observation, intelligence, thinking, but also balancing of energies, and the vital force. And its negative aspect? Distractibility. The air element can get you scatterbrained.

 Oh boy, where to begin... First, I am a bit frustrated with the traditional definition of the Air element as being hot and moist. For me is colder and definitely not moist, but light and moving, more windy than anything else. Today I did some extra reading on the Air element, and interestingly, it is associated with Prana, as the breath of life. So from that perspective, Pranayama and Chi Kung work with the Air element. Today I've also tried the Posism for the Air element based on Lasenic's work, and I have to say it works for me; the inside of the room immediately felt as if a light breeze was passing through.

 Nothing out of the ordinary happened today. The afterimage of the Air tattva was yellow both during the morning and evening trataka. However, only during the evening trataka was the image spinning. What is interesting is that the afterimage's color matches the color of Earth's tattva. Maybe the water tattva should be the opposite of the Fire tattva; definitely gotta try to color match it before the new week begins.

 This was the first day of working with the Air element (Vayu). I have to say the weather today was pretty cold, and I missed the warm embrace of the Fire element. On the other hand, the windy weather was perfect for the accumulation of lightness in the body. One weird experience during today's commute makes me think that the Air element has something to do with intuition, but I am not going to describe the event for privacy reasons. It also felt that the time was sluggish today; it felt unnecessarily long to get through the day. Another weird thing has happened during the evening trataka. The normally blue circle representing the Air tattva suddenly seemed purple for the gaze. The follow-up afterimage was yellow with jagged edges (sort of like flower petals), was spinning fast, and slowly getting smaller. I have no idea how this happened, but it was interesting nonetheless. After the final release and banishment of the element, I realized my body suddenly felt heavy. I guess the A...

 The final day of the Fire element is behind me. Today I have used the symbol of Agni for trataka multiple times during the day, and yet again, only the final trataka has shown the symbol as orange. And once again, it seemed that my body thermoregulates better when the Fire element is within. Heat seems natural, and cold just brushes off my skin. Let's hope that working with the Air element will be as illuminating. For the next week, the tattva of Air (Vayu):

Today it once again seemed that holding the fire element within makes my thermoregulation better than usual.  Other than that, today I broke the habit of doing only the exercises related to the project. I had to mow the lawn and couldn't help but pass the time by chanting the Kalachakra mantra.

 It seems the Fire element has become casual to me. I feel normal with the accumulated element. However, once I release the element, or even banish it with the Gnostic Pentagram Ritual, it seems I get hotter; it looks like my thermoregulation works better with Agni than without. And, as always, the tattva seemed to glow orange during the evening trataka session, but not during the morning one.

 Day 3 was quite uneventful. On Day 4, while trying to visualize the elemental pentagrams as red, they appeared orange for some reason; I couldn't really control the color myself. During the day, while I was accumulating the fire element, it dawned on me. I could accumulate the fire element in the morning right after the Gnostic pentagram ritual and practice the release right before the evening ritual. It's not ok I came up with this mid-week, but from tomorrow on, I will do it this way. Other than that, the fire tattva still glows orange for me even while it is red, but only during the evening trataka, not during the morning gaze.

 The chippiness faded. Anyway, two interesting things happened today. Thing number one: Whenever I visualized the tattva, I got a feeling of warmth. Thing number 2: During my evening trataka session, as I gazed at the tattva, it started changing, morphing between red and orange colors. The following afterimage also seemed to be pulsating.

 The first day was kinda uneventful. Despite a slight boost in confidence, I also got a bit chippy. One interesting thing happened during my evening travel from the office. In the hot train with a broken AC, it seemed I handled the heat a bit better than the rest of the passengers. Still, today made it painfully obvious I haven't worked with elements in a while; hopefully, one week will be enough for each element.