Suhrim

Yesterday, before falling asleep, I was thinking about Suhrim, one of Marduk's names from Necronomicon. And one of four names that can cause death.
I got a very plastic and vivid vision of a large beast, with shape similar to shape of a hound, but with much bigger mouth with no teeth, it also had wings.
This whole creature was covered in human-like skin with a lot of stains in colors of brown and orange. According to my vision this beast was really big, maybe like a decent family house.

Second day

This is second day of May and also second day of my anual Necronomicon practice.
This month I will focus solely on Necronomicon.
No Sigils, no usual rituals, only Necronomicon.
This month I expect I should be able to pass second zonei.

I will also focus on Maqlu text and post my observations here :-)

Occult community

After 3 years of experience I might already be used that occult community is full of all the different people. Still, sometimes I get surprised. I don't know if you already noticed, but sometimes you meet people (especially on-line), having all kind of arguments and "expertise" on everything, not completely understanding what they are talking about and even not really listening to you, just arguing for the sake of argument.
It's like when you teach first graders that 1+1 = 2 and some ass standing nearby starts arguing with you about the symbolic meaning of numbers, rationality and representation of each digit by a bunch of nested empty sets.

If I can give you some hint, don't grow to be that way. Remember that different people need different kind of information and also that different people hold different values. Arguing about values or about an amount of information being handled is the worst thing you can actually do. And also, believe me when I say that these people might be quite common on the net, but you will never meet any of them personally, small occult communities all around the world are usually free of these types, main reason is that these people hardly visit the world, they rather tend to stay in their caves where there is not a lot of natural light and human society.

Also remember, that most of the times you meet these people, there is no reason to take them seriously, for they never really accomplished anything.

Month of Necronomicon

May, month I have associated with Necronomicon, is slowly approaching. I have already started with my preparations and every day I manage to repeat
ZI DINGIR ANNA KANPA,
ZI DINGIR KIA KANPA
for about hundred times.

Last year I had quite some trouble matching story of Necronomicon with my belief. Fortunately I became more mature and my study of Kabbalah also progressed, so this year I expect no issues.

ZI ANNA KANPA,
ZI KIA KANPA

Strange resonance

This happened about 3 days ago but I still didn't have time to write it down.
After performing Sacred Chamber Ritual for banishing purposes I slipped into low trance and started hearing the noise. At the same time my left hand started resonating with the noise, giving me a very strong vobration.
I thought this could be associated with some form of healing so I put the hand on the chest of my wife. She changed a color (got white as snow), I sat her down and then she told me a story of what happened during her car accident (she did't have that memory before and doctors said that she will never remember).

Gaining Magickal Abilities: The Gaze

What is The Gaze?
The Gaze is an ability of Magician to steadily observe (stare) any point in space.
It is also a premilinary ability for claivoyance, reality manipulation, shewstone scrying and literally any ability that needs eyes to work. As opposed to the "evil eye", The Gaze is not intuition-based and has to be practiced to be gained. On the other hand The Gaze gives you complete control over the effects and also all of the benefits of Evil Eye.
The Gaze can be also used psychologically, staring inside the skull of your opponent during conversation will definitely freak out most people you will meet.

First Exercise: The Point
First of all we have to learn how to shift the staring point. Choose some picture or painting and place your thumb between the painting and your eyes. Now start switching your focus between the painting. Practice this for a week.
After you are done for the first part, here comes the fun. Start the exercise as before but after focusing on the thumb, put the thumb down and keep staring at the space where the thumb was. Keep doing that till you can hold the focus on a blank space for about 15 seconds. This exercise will also strengthen your eyes muscles and endurance.
Now you need to learn how to switch the focus without your thumb as a mediator, you should already know how the switch feels like, so just reproduce it. Later you can add more points and switch between them in seamless manner.

Second Exercise: The Endurance
You have to adapt your eyes to become stronger and able to be steady and opened for a longer period of time.You should have already developed an awareness of muscles controlling your eyes, now you just need to strengthen them. You can do so by practicing trataka or literally any kind of focal meditation. Remember, keep your eyes opened as long as you can. If your eyes start watering, pause the exercise, blink a couple of times and then close them for a couple of seconds, then you can continue in the exercise.
Third Exercise: The Waking Life

Learn to hold the blank space focus in every day life during walks, breaks, lunch, conversation, etc. Don't do so if you need to use your eyes for safety purposes (crossing the road, driving the car, etc).
Soon you will notice that the blank space is not really blank and your clairvoyance will start developing.

Kubera Mudra

My day didn't start so well, I overslept and nearly missed the bus to the capital. Fortunately I already remember Kubera Mudra, which can be used to quickly manipulate reality, the usage is simply just to hold the Mudra as tight as you can while repeating the wish in your mind (3 repetitions are enough).

I had quite some success with this mudra last few weeks but today it prove that it can replace FTMCS as well.