My beginnings in the occult
So, I am back from a month long vacation that took quite a revealing turn as I recalled something from my childhood.
I am 28 now and I actively practice for 6 years but as it turned out, I was an occultist long before that. First of all, I got signed up to karate classes when I was 6 years old and a very basic form of meditation was part of the curriculum. Later when I was about 10 I bought a book about Ninjutsu (ninja movies were big at the time). The book was namely about history and dictionary but there was also a big section regarding meditation and kuji-in (hand gestures). Different effects were associated with different gestures and I will take a look at this later.
When I was about 12 I tried a silver magick ritual (sort of fluff dark magick but hey, I was 12), the ritual consisted of using 5 names: Astaroth, Dragonis, Moloch, Empusa, Nosferatu, shortly ADMEN (I remember it even now), when I was 15 I read A. S. LaVey's Satanic Bible which by the coincidence was the book that also refreshed this memory. After creating my occult FB account and getting invited to countless LHP and Satanism groups I got interested to refresh my memory on LaVey's satanism so I bought the book and read it again. The vibe of the book was the same as the vibe of Thelema which explains why Thelema felt so natural to me, I knew some of it from before.
My childhood
I've had some weird experiences before even attending school. For one instance I remember an experience during which I tripped and fell face first into a fresh concrete, my father wasn't really happy about this and I got beaten up for it. The problem here is that this didn't happen to me, but to my 6 years older brother, yet I still have this vivid memory seeing everything from the first person as if this happened to me.
For another one I recalled seeing myself from the third point of view on a couple of occasions, this happened to me especially during practicing karate katas. In other words I had seen myself externally while moving.
It happened to me at least twice that a time slowed down around me, both instances were during a jump which felt unnaturally long because of this. Something similar also happened to me during a fight in school when the time stopped fully while my "opponent" was caught mid-air. I remember thinking about how to use this to my advantage and where to stand so after "the time runs again" it will look impressive. During this maneuvering around I noticed my body still stands on the same place and while I tried to get into it so I can moved with it, the time started again and I got kicked to the chest :D.
Adult years
I became interested in hypnosis when I was about 17 and read a lot of things about it in the public library. I usually sneak into the section I didn't have access into and read there. When I was caught I said I forgot the registration card at home and will come with it the next day. I obviously didn't have the card so I never did. Btw this way I also learned programming which is what I do for a living now :).
In the time I was recently employed I got prosecuted for fare evasion in the city I never even visited. Someone somehow got my ID details and used it to identify himself during the ticket inspection. Problem was that I didn't have any alibi for that time as it was when I still visited the university and the university can hardly prove when someone is or isn't in the class, especially that way back. The events weren't in my favor so while waiting outside the courtroom I have used the jin kuji-in (described in the book I had as: for telepathy and the universe manipulation) to manipulate the court decision in my favor. Luckily I won that case and didn't have to pay any penalty or the court bill (in my country the defeated side pays for the court). But what is interesting I had this emergency "magical thinking" I would fall into if required to manipulate things I normally couldn't, and this was before I started being officially interested in the occult practice.
Few observations
I didn't only have weird experiences as a child. It seems that the universe didn't miss any opportunity to send some interesting pieces of information my way. Thinking back it doesn't look like it was my free choice to start with the occult, it more seems like I was meant to and the occult was dragging me in quite strongly. The question is why. Was I born with this kind of a plan for me or did it develop because of my early meditation practice? Like if you open the door will you then always be attracted to the light behind it?
I am 28 now and I actively practice for 6 years but as it turned out, I was an occultist long before that. First of all, I got signed up to karate classes when I was 6 years old and a very basic form of meditation was part of the curriculum. Later when I was about 10 I bought a book about Ninjutsu (ninja movies were big at the time). The book was namely about history and dictionary but there was also a big section regarding meditation and kuji-in (hand gestures). Different effects were associated with different gestures and I will take a look at this later.
When I was about 12 I tried a silver magick ritual (sort of fluff dark magick but hey, I was 12), the ritual consisted of using 5 names: Astaroth, Dragonis, Moloch, Empusa, Nosferatu, shortly ADMEN (I remember it even now), when I was 15 I read A. S. LaVey's Satanic Bible which by the coincidence was the book that also refreshed this memory. After creating my occult FB account and getting invited to countless LHP and Satanism groups I got interested to refresh my memory on LaVey's satanism so I bought the book and read it again. The vibe of the book was the same as the vibe of Thelema which explains why Thelema felt so natural to me, I knew some of it from before.
My childhood
I've had some weird experiences before even attending school. For one instance I remember an experience during which I tripped and fell face first into a fresh concrete, my father wasn't really happy about this and I got beaten up for it. The problem here is that this didn't happen to me, but to my 6 years older brother, yet I still have this vivid memory seeing everything from the first person as if this happened to me.
For another one I recalled seeing myself from the third point of view on a couple of occasions, this happened to me especially during practicing karate katas. In other words I had seen myself externally while moving.
It happened to me at least twice that a time slowed down around me, both instances were during a jump which felt unnaturally long because of this. Something similar also happened to me during a fight in school when the time stopped fully while my "opponent" was caught mid-air. I remember thinking about how to use this to my advantage and where to stand so after "the time runs again" it will look impressive. During this maneuvering around I noticed my body still stands on the same place and while I tried to get into it so I can moved with it, the time started again and I got kicked to the chest :D.
Adult years
I became interested in hypnosis when I was about 17 and read a lot of things about it in the public library. I usually sneak into the section I didn't have access into and read there. When I was caught I said I forgot the registration card at home and will come with it the next day. I obviously didn't have the card so I never did. Btw this way I also learned programming which is what I do for a living now :).
In the time I was recently employed I got prosecuted for fare evasion in the city I never even visited. Someone somehow got my ID details and used it to identify himself during the ticket inspection. Problem was that I didn't have any alibi for that time as it was when I still visited the university and the university can hardly prove when someone is or isn't in the class, especially that way back. The events weren't in my favor so while waiting outside the courtroom I have used the jin kuji-in (described in the book I had as: for telepathy and the universe manipulation) to manipulate the court decision in my favor. Luckily I won that case and didn't have to pay any penalty or the court bill (in my country the defeated side pays for the court). But what is interesting I had this emergency "magical thinking" I would fall into if required to manipulate things I normally couldn't, and this was before I started being officially interested in the occult practice.
Few observations
I didn't only have weird experiences as a child. It seems that the universe didn't miss any opportunity to send some interesting pieces of information my way. Thinking back it doesn't look like it was my free choice to start with the occult, it more seems like I was meant to and the occult was dragging me in quite strongly. The question is why. Was I born with this kind of a plan for me or did it develop because of my early meditation practice? Like if you open the door will you then always be attracted to the light behind it?
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